Sexually deprived men are abundant in this world. Moreover, one could characterise most societies as sexually imbalanced and uneducated; and even those that are more advanced are full of sexually deprived men. In underdeveloped societies, typically, women seem unaware of their sexual deprivation, while men are acutely cognizant of their sexual needs. Sex is an absolute taboo there; it is the topic even spouses hardly discuss.
The less developed the country is intellectually, the more uninhibited is men’s desire of female sex. That means, in these countries when a man sees a woman he likes, there is virtually nothing that will stop him from pursuing her. And there is nothing a woman can tell him to convince him otherwise.
Iranian society is a perfect example of the country full of sexually deprived men. My whole time there was incredibly stressful and intense. The entire experience was like walking through a forest of dicks. I always would catch intense stares, had no chance of going unnoticed and most men who I got in contact with attempted to have some kind of physical contact with me.
Created by Hamza Gulzar. Downloaded from Pexels.
Yet, despite the fact that the trip was mentally draining and, to some extent, traumatic experience, I still consider it major success. It gave me sufficient enough material to work on and knowledge to better understand men’s mind.
Dick #1: Sexually Deprived Iranian Truck Driver
My first encounter with a sexually deprived Iranian man happened in Armenia. I had spent the night in a town called Martuni, near Sevan lake. The plan was to try and make it all the way to Meghri, the border town. To spend the night there and cross the next morning.
I was hitchhiking near town Shaki, 180 kilometres away from Meghri. A truck with Iranian plate number stopped. I remember when I saw him I was impressed by his looks. He was a very attractive man.
He had dark blue eyes; dark thick eyebrows rested above them; his hair was already turning grey, a quality that added even more appeal to his looks; he had tanned skin and seemed reasonably fit. His destination was Iran, and I considered going with him all the way. That road for the most part is mountainous. It takes a truck good 3-4 hours to cover such distance.
At first, our conversation was neutral. He asked me bunch of questions about my travels, complemented me on my ability to manage the journey alone. I also asked a few questions in order to keep the conversation flowing.
The entire interaction went via Google Translate. After about 15 minutes he passed me his phone with a question:
So, when was the last time you had sex?
”Yeah, yeah, here we go”, – I thought to myself. I thought for a moment what to respond. Eventually chose least optimal answer.
Why are you asking me this question?
This response of mine kick-started a discussion that gave me a legitimate headache. At first, he just responded that he found me beautiful and was just wondering how often I have sex. From then on everything I said only added more oil to the fire.
At some point he offered: ”Come on, let’s have sex”. I rejected.
”Why?” – He asked.
”Because I am not interested in you”, – I replied.
Soon his offer turned into a plea.
”Come, on! I work a lot; I am so tired and stressed. I really, really need this. Please, have sex with me!”
The heartless bitch that I am, I rejected again. I tried to reason with him and share my perspective as a woman. But he could not care less.
More time had passed and his plea turned into an emotional manipulation.
He told me that he was stressed and was feeling very bad, and it was entirely my fault; grew emotional and hit himself in the chest, adding:
And you could so easily make me feel better.
I was, of course, not moved by this statement one bit. I knew what he was trying to do and could not care less about his stress level and need for sweet relief.
The situation lasted for the next two hours or so.
Ultimately, what happened was that I ran away.
I did not make an attempt to leave the truck sooner for two reasons:
- I was not concerned about my safety. The cabin of a truck has a large space. As long as the driver remains seated, there is nothing he can do to you. Since we were in the mountains, I knew, he perfectly understood the dangers of doing anything other than drive. Also I was so concentrated on my safety at the time, that I did not take into account the mental implications of such situation.
- Getting out in the middle of nowhere is not something I usually look forward to. If I had to run away, for example, my chances of doing it successfully are scarce. So, as long as he is driving, I feel reasonably relaxed.
We finally cleared the mountains and reached the inhabited parts of the country. He asked me whether I was hungry. Immediately I saw an opportunity to get out of there. I said that I was. My plan was to convince him to get the food while I waited in the truck.
But it did not take much convincing – he offered it himself. Once he was gone, several seconds later I grabbed my bags and got out. Adrenaline had kicked in, my knees and hands were shaking, I was running away like mad.
Fortunately for me a car was passing by. I put my thumb up with a desperate look on my face. The car stopped. They were going to Meghri.
I noticed one very particular quality about sexually deprived Iranian men.
He might not say or do anything for good hour or two, but once you move or do something differently, it will trigger him to a point of no return. His groin is set on fire and his brain shuts down.
It is hard to point out what exactly triggers them, but when this happens, there is nothing you can do or say to stop him. He will turn into a spoiled little child that is lying on the floor of a supermarket throwing a tantrum, because mommy refused to buy him a candy.
The only thing you can do is get the hell out of there. You are not his mommy, after all.
Dick #2: A Sexually Deprived Grandpa
I met this man immediately after crossing the border. I did not like him much, nor his car that dirty and twice my age. But what convinced me to get into it was that he had a baby girl sitting in his lap. I thought to myself: ”Well, his hands are busy; he won’t be able to do anything”.
WRONG!
Quite quickly he began touching my legs. He had the girl leaning on his left hand. He was stirring the wheel with the same hand, so he could dedicate the right one to me. When my scarf slid down, he told me not to worry about it and take it off completely. I thought to myself:
So then you can fantasize that I am your wife, right?
Unfortunately for me, the girl fell asleep. He put her on the back seat. Finally he could boogie with me freely. At some point he even stopped, got out of the car and began taking his pants off. I stared at him in disbelief, thinking he was planning on releasing his member. Comically, he was just wearing two pair of pants. Maybe it was just my presence that made him feel so hot.
Ultimately, I was physically fighting him off. And he was entirely ignoring my frustration.
Fortunately, the ride was short. He drove me into town, bought me some cakes I did not want. Just when I was getting out of the car he grabbed me by my ass, blew me a kiss and waved me goodbye.
Dick #3: A Hero Turned Into a Villain
Iran was generous enough to let me experience another such situation on the same day. It happened near Tabriz. My ride dropped me at the exit of the town. I was walking to a decent spot I noticed from afar, when a group of dogs began barking and growling at me, moving quickly towards me and getting ready to attack.
A truck driver who was parked nearby noticed it and began honking loudly. I realised the dogs got scared and began moving away from the truck, so I ran closer to it. He indicated that I get into his truck. I did so. It turned out he was going to Zanjan, the city I was heading to. For the next couple hours our communication was simple, without any attempt on his part.
I remember, he offered me a bag of candies, which I denied. And he said that I should eat some sugar, otherwise I am too skinny. He then added:
In Iran we love our women big.
At some point, he parked the truck and told me that was going to sleep, and laid down. I told him that I did not wish to wait around and that I’d rather get off and continue on my own. He jumped on his bed and said that he will continue driving.
What happened next was little puzzling.
Something in the way I moved, or the fact that when he lay down his head was briefly closer to me, triggered him (the behaviour of sexually deprived men I had described earlier). From a reasonable jolly man, he turned into that spoiled child who lies on the floor and throws a tantrum.
He went on insisting on letting him touch me, sitting next to him, ultimately, sleeping with him. The change in his demeanour was so quick and abrupt; I did not know what to make of it. Fortunately, we had almost arrived. So, I got out at the gas station, mentally preparing for a miserable evening.
Dick #4: A Host Whom I Thought to Be Gay
Amir Ruhsen picked me up the next day. I had a rough evening and night in Zanjan. By that morning I was like a wounded animal: alarmed, distressed, dejected, just hoping to find a safe place where I could ‘lick my wounds’. He was the first man in Iran to have made a positive impression on me. It was a long ride to Karaj, city where he was going. The entire ride I felt reasonably relaxed and safe.
On the way, he invited me to stay at his place in case I did not have anywhere to spend the night. I rejoiced at his offer. Finally I could breathe freely. We stopped for lunch and I tried Iranian rice dish with meat, pomegranates and saffron.
When we arrived at his place, he asked me to hide in the car, so that neighbours could not see me. He also instructed me not to go out on my own. He said that it was dangerous for me and that he did not want his neighbours to think anything.
One quality of Iranian households that surprised me a bit is that although people are poor for the most part, they live in very good and clean houses. His house was no exception: clean, spacious, with a lot of light. I stayed with him for two nights. In the evening he read me his poems. Then his female friend Arezo arrived for a little party; they drank some homemade liquor and smoked hookah.
During my entire stay he hadn’t said or done anything to me. This fact, along with other observations, only furthered my impression that he was gay.
Then on the morning of my departure he told me:
I was wondering, before you go, can we have sex quickly?
You too, Brutus?!
The question was a like a brick falling on my head out of nowhere. I wanted to cry and laugh and the same time.
I declined his offer and he said:
Don’t worry. It will be very quick.
”Are trying to convince me or discourage me?” – I thought, laughing to myself at the situation. (This statement of his clearly indicates that the way they perceive sex in such countries is purely as male’s pleasure. Women just have to quietly endure those couple minutes before he ejaculates).
Ultimately, he said if I did not want it, he would not push. He just drove me to where I needed to go, and we part ways.
The Way of Living That Makes Iranians Sexually Deprived
There is no secret about why are Iranians as sexually deprived as they are. It is a characteristic of virtually all Muslim countries. But one thing is drawing reasonable conclusions and imagining how things are, and another – hearing first hand stories from a person.
Atash (not his real name), a 28 year-old young man, was my host in a town of Damghan. He and his parents welcomed me in their house. He spoke reasonably good English, which allowed us to have long detailed discussions on various topics. I also met his friend, Amir. He was in his early 20s.
Atash told me that Amir has never been with a girl; and I could see it easily. There was certain youthful innocence about him. He still seemed as childish sweet little boy to me, although, he was not that young.
Atash himself had a girlfriend for the past 7 years. They had not had sex yet, and he told me that they would not until they got married.
But how do you handle the sexual tension between you two? – I asked.
His response was:
Well, sometimes we just grind against each other with our clothes on, or masturbate together. But I would never do anything more than that, because I respect her.
Atash told me that in school, when they are 12-13 years-old boys and girls are separated. Boys do not see a girl way until college. Their only connection with a girl near their age is their sisters if they have ones. He also said that situation in Tehran is a little bit better. Young people party, drink and have sex as well. However, many girls prefer to have anal sex, so they can ”preserve” their virginity. But in smaller cities like Damghan there is virtually no action.
He told me when he was in school boys and girls would arrange meetings in the park. The idea behind the meeting was to just pass near and look at each other. That’s it!
No surprise Iranian men are sexually deprived and are so awkward and even silly around a woman.
Most men I encountered there did not exude any aggression towards me, nor they tried to physically force me (well, apart from that jolly grandpa). They just wanted/needed a woman. It is the lack of physical closeness and intimacy that makes them not quite stable.
They can’t, of course, act this way towards their women. Usually there is an army of men behind her back: father, brothers, uncles, nephews, and so on. But what can happen if they bother me a little bit?
Women in Such Traditional Countries
Muslim societies are fundamentally lopsided in their structure. One very obvious and undeniable pattern we can observe is that men utterly dominate these societies in all regards. Boy are given all the freedom to act and speak as they wish, within confides of their morals, of course; girls, on the other hand, must be modest and shy. From the early age parent teach them to respect and listen to men.
Although, Georgia is not a Muslim country, I grew up in similar (but milder) conditions.
When I just began travelling, perhaps, a couple months into my journey, I met a Tunisian man. I was volunteering at a hostel, and he was our guest. One evening I was sitting on a balcony when he came out. He sat across me. We shared a few sentences via Google Translate, and then he told me: ”Come, sit next to me”.
I knew why he said that. Most importantly, I knew I did not want to. Each cell of my body was against it. But psychologically I was compelled to stand up and sit across, right next to him. I was nervous, uncomfortable, and afraid, yet I still did it.
He wrapped his arm around me and whispered something in my ear. I did not move or say anything. I just froze, waiting for the outcome. As much as I wished to believe that I was over exhibiting such behaviours, like a programmed robot, I acted in exact way I was taught.
Women from such countries are not taught to say no. On the contrary, girls must be compliant and must not upset men.
As a consequence of such imbalanced social dynamics, men are used to getting what they want; women are unaware what they want. This is why the first truck driver was so stressed because of me. How often does he meet a woman who is unwavering in her actions and decisions?
Consequences of Hitchhiking Through Iran
As a female traveller and a foreign woman I experienced the level of frustrations of sexually deprived Iranian men to a full extent. Apart from the aforementioned situations, which stand out in their intensity, I experienced numerous other instances during my stay in Iran. Normally, it would be very long, concentrated stares; some would shake their heads and lift arms in disapproval; others would look at me with a deeply satisfied smile on their faces; some would blow me kisses and say Mashallah!
My experiences there turned out to traumatising in a treacherous way. While I was there, it was all about self-preservation and my survival. Then I travelled more in Asian countries. It became a norm to be constantly on a lookout and alarmed; to be touched by stranger men; to be offered money in exchange for sex, or plainly begged for it.
When I came back to Europe an overwhelming wave of anxiety took over me. Every time a man treated me as a fellow human being, I was overcome by emotions and wanted to cry.
It is never optimal, nor healthy to experience such extreme emotional responses in fairly straightforward situations.
This is where intellectual understanding comes in place as a remedy. With sufficient enough understanding I was able to come to clear-cut conclusions:
- Reason does not work.
- More often than not he does not mean any harm (but one must always be cautious).
- Such is sexually deprived men’s world. There is virtually nothing one can do.
- If you encounter such man, before anything happens at all, get out of there!
From an early childhood, I preffered the company of boys over girl’s. Unbeknownst to me, I found communicating with them much simpler. Unsurprisingly, most friends were boys. That has not changed in my adult years. That has not changed in my adult years. I quickly grew more and more confident during my journey, and I have always felt quite relaxed around most men.
My journey through Iran (and Asia as a whole) was an emotionally brutal experience. But it showed me another side of male psyche I was not aware of before.
But, ultimately, what can I say? This knowledge is exactly why I chose to travel the way I do.